Pervertables

Hello! The following post contains discussion points from the chat hosted at The Safeword/s Club. Join us for our next chat, on Monday, July 30, at 9:30 pm EDT to discuss Rules!

These notes are the opinions of Lars and slars of Married and Owned, and the participants of the chat, and do not reflect the opinions and views of the entire BDSM community.

So… you’ve decided you are kinky! You want to play around, explore, experiment… you have added all of the toys and gear you could ever hope for in you cart online, and when you go to check out, the total is $12,742.89!?!?!!

What on Earth are you to do?!

Enter: Pervertables!

Pervertables are items that you might find and use in your everyday vanilla life, that you pervert for kinky uses. It could be a wooden spoon you normally make sauce with, repurposed as a paddle. It could be a tension rod turned into a spreader bar (i will share how we did this in the DIY section of our blog). It could even be a length of rope from your garage, turned into a flogger! Pervertables are only limited by your imagination!

A few things to keep in mind when getting creative at home:

-Safety first- DO NOT insert vegetables, things that can leave splinters, things that could break off, etc, into your orifices. Not only will they put you at risk for humiliating emergency room visits, but they could have chemicals like pesticides or bacteria on them. Doesn’t sound fun, or worth it!

-Always test your pervertables before you use them. Make sure they will not break during use.

-Remember that quality matters. Sometimes it is worth it to spend a little money on an item designed for what your needs are, rather than Jimmy rigging your own.

Examples shared:

  • Wooden kitchen utensils
  • Curtain tie backs
  • Rope
  • Shower curtain rod
  • Chains
  • Sequins, feathers, fabric
  • Craft store items
  • Hardware store items
  • Scarves
  • Pantyhose
  • Clothes pins

The possibilities are endless! Have you ever made pervertables or kinky DIY projects? Share in the comments below!

Quote of the evening by Foxy:

Pervertables are innocent objects that get bent to naughty purposes.

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