This post was originally written for The SafeworD/s Club. For more information, click the link!
Have you ever squirted? Do you aspire to be able to? Here my thoughts about my personal journey with squirting.
Before i met Lars, i had never had an orgasm. i had empty, unsatisfying sex that got me nothing and nowhere. Lars and i met online- we were both on a mission to avoid having a physical relationship at the time. Partially because we were long distance, and partially because we both had moral reasons. We had our fair share of phone sex and risque Skype sessions, though. It was complicated. At one point Lars decided that He wanted to buy me a toy, so He sent me a Lelo Gigi vibe and set the expectation that i use it instead of the cheap toy i used before. The laptop came out, i spread my legs, and after a short while my computer suddenly became drenched.
Lars thought it was epic, but i was all sorts of embarrassed. The next time, i sprayed across the bed and into the wall.
Something about that toy pushed some button inside of me, and made me squirt like there was no tomorrow. Those orgasms were messy, hard to predict, and hard to control. i remember confiding to one friend who laughed at me. i told her that i was really embarrassed and she told me that i was peeing myself and that i needed to do pelvic exercises.
i did a lot of research in those days, and even asked my gynecologist about it, because i was concerned that i was becoming incontinent. My doctor let me know that it wasn’t urine and that it was quite normal. But it didn’t feel normal. i was quite disgusted with myself, to be honest.
When Lars and i became intimate, it wasn’t the same as the toy, so i didn’t uncontrollably squirt. i was very thankful for this, but my dear Lars was hellbent on getting me to cover Him, and thus began a subtle training spree that happened before i could stop it. He got His wish and was covered, achieving His goal the first time with me on top. i was mortified and disgusted. To me, there is nothing worse than sleeping on wet sheets. But Lars was over the moon.
It’s really hard to describe the feeling that precedes a squirting orgasm. It’s like the room spins, and i can’t breathe slowly, i feel like i have to grab ahold of something or i could go flying into oblivion. And then i shatter into a million billion pieces.
Over time i have learned to embrace these orgasms, and even to crave and look forward to them. i think those feelings are because Lars likes them so much, and is very encouraging. It could also be that if i get caught holding back i get paddled. Either way, i am glad Lars took the time to nurture my sexuality, and taught me to squirt.