To those readers that have children, i am sure you feel me when i say that being intimate with your partner and also being a parent do not mix. Whether your kid is climbing in bed with your every night, or your walls are paper thin, it seems there is always a reason to miss out on some, ahem, personal time. That being said, we have gotten tricky- finding clever ways to share inside jokes, innuendos, and stolen moments, with the kids none the wiser. (Side note: if you have not read the children’s book “Nobody Likes a Cock Block”, please do yourself the favor of checking it out)
i remember when we first bought our house, our eldest daughter woke up one morning, and asked us to stop watching the movie with all the screaming. Our bedrooms were newly side by side, and we were just a little too noisy. Thus began our dictionary of code words and actions, and their hidden meanings. The list is below.
Mobile Deposit= Oral Sex
Deposit Slip= Condom
Thanksgiving= Daddy’s penis
Button= my clitoris
Holding pinkies= i feel little
Daddy’s hand on the back of my neck= Reminder of Ownership
Daddy’s hand in the hair at the nape of my neck= Hair pulling, i am out of line
Life is so much easier when you are driving down the road with the family in the car, and you can casually ask your partner, “Hey honey, do we need to pick up any deposit slips before we go to the bank?”, or “Don’t let me forget to make that mobile deposit tonight”. It works for us, okay? And those subtle statements get us both squirming like two accountants sharing spreadsheets.
Do you have code words for sex, or body language with hidden meanings? i wanna know what they are! Drop us a comment to share!